My Ten Worst Films of 2016

2016 has been a weird year to say the least. Whether we talk film, television, online content, or just everything else that happened. (Let’s not, this is a place for film). With some films not quite living up to their hype or just being plain stinkers there’s a lot to dig through so let’s begin.

10. Sausage Party

This is one of those films that suffered a number of problems for me. First, the animation at times felt like it was barely a tier above the mess that was Foodfight! Yes, the budget was low, but there were times when things felt unpolished. I try not to let behind the scenes controversy taint a film for me, but when it comes to hard working crew members getting shafted I get pissed. If it wasn’t for those animators your film would’ve been a bunch of actors sitting in a booth in front of a microphone. Sound like a film worth watching? And finally, for being dubbed one of the filthiest films of all time I was kind of let down. Seeing a hot dog say fuck multiple times and a ‘food orgy’ got boring. Does that say something about me as a person?

9. Now You See Me 2

Not that the original film was any masterpiece, but you can tell that while the original film had time to get it’s script kind of right this one feels extremely rushed. All the actors are likable and Lizzy Caplan was a nice addition, but the writing really let everything down. From ret-conning the ending of the previous film to make a character a good guy to the magic getting even more out of the realm of reality this was dumb, but dumb in the, “It’s on FX at one am and I have no other options so I might as well watch it.” way.

8. The Forest

There were some fantastic horror films that got released last (A few of which will be found on my Best of 2016 list), but this is not one of them. Natalie Dormer is a competent actress and the premise of telling a horror film set in the Aokigahara Forest had promise. Unfortunately cliched writing, obvious scares, bland side characters, and an almost forgettable plot killed this one.

7. Dirty Grandpa

Why does it seem like Robert De Niro hasn’t cared about his filmography for over a decade? Sure he’s had a few good supporting roles, but on the whole the man is a shadow of his former self. This is a perfect example of an idea crafted in a Hollywood boardroom with little to no creativity except for a premise (an old man saying filthy things). Zac Efron tried, but even his charisma wasn’t enough to make this tolerable.

6. Alice Through the Looking Glass

I’ve voiced my disdain for the previous live action Alice film Disney made, (it was my worst film of 2010) so I had a feeling this one was going to be more of the same. James Bobin felt like a director for hire executing a preconceived idea. The noisy and overly CGI visuals are once again vomited all over the screen and the actors seem to care even less this time around. At least Sacha Baron Cohen was highlight in a rather blah film.

5. 31

Once again Rob Zombie serves up his style over substance exploitation film homage brand of horror film and again it’s more of the same. Considering this one was even divisive amongst his fans it’s no surprise it floundered with me. This feels like a spiritual successor to The Devil’s Rejects (My favorite of Zombie’s) and yet the antagonists (aside from E.G. Daily) were nowhere near as interesting. And what’s worst is the protagonists are nothing but fodder for the killers.

4. Holidays

I love anthology horror films and holiday themed horror films, so this seemed like a no-brainer. If only the directors had taken more time to flesh out their stories instead of turning in half-baked messes. It was a big letdown seeing Kevin Smith’s Halloween segment. I’ve been a fan for ages and this year has been a real letdown (more on that to follow). Save yourself some time and only watch the segment Father’s Day.

3. Yoga Hosers

After seeing the embarrassingly bad trailer for this film I knew the writing was on the wall. As someone who has defended Smith’s recent work (I genuinely enjoy Red State and thought Tusk was flawed, but had moments) I can not defend this mess. It’s a patchwork of ideas strewn together and nothing really measures up. Too bad we’ll never get to see Clerks III as that had some real potential.

2. Punk’s Dead: SLC Punk 2

A sequel to a cult film is never a good idea. Making it nearly 20 years after the original when the director made nothing of merit in between is a horrible omen. Nothing about this film captures the original’s spirit or even acts as a good counterpoint to it. Fans were left irritated while newcomers were indifferent.

1.Cell

Oh my goodness, where to begin? If being adapted from one of Stephen King’s worst novels in recent years wasn’t bad enough this film had a rough post-production that left it a shoddy mess. I can not tell if the director wanted to make a horror, satire, or a dark comedy, but it’s none of the above and feels like a cheaply made mess that makes me wonder if John Cusack’s agent is secretly working to tank his career.

There you have it. Another year where the good, the bad, and the mediocre were put on the big screen and VOD. I will have a list of honorable mentions and a Best of list coming soon, so keep your eyes peeled. I will also try to return to posting more regularly, but life can be hectic and who knows what will come next. As always, you can find me on Twitter @SDFilmThoughts.

Sequelitis: The Excuse for Bad Films

I recently read an article published by Variety about the state of 2016’s box office. The past few weeks have had some of the softest summer openings for films in ages and of course the finger had to be pointed at something. With the extensive number of sequels that have come out so far this year the scapegoat is franchise fatigue. Considering the number of sequels that have been released so far (18 including spin-offs) and those yet to come out (19 including spin-offs) this year is packed with follow-ups. I wanted to take this point to look at why sequel saturation is an excuse and not an actual answer.

-Fool Me Once-

For me this is the major reason for two of the most recent box office disappointments. Last week’s Alice Through the Looking Glass opened at $26.9 million and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is looking at a $35.3 million debut this weekend. This is a sharp decline from the amount their predecessors made. 2010’s Alice in Wonderland made $116.1 million in it’s opening weekend while 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pulled in $65.6 million. In six years Alice’s gross dropped $89.2 million and in two years TMNT’s gross dropped $30.3 million. What caused this huge decline? I think it comes down to the fact that people were once excited for these franchises, but after seeing their initial offerings had no interest in a second helping. Even if these sequels are an improvement over the previous films (Out of the Shadows possibly, Through the Looking Glass not so much) they’ve already burnt up the audience’s good will on a lazy opening act.

-Shifting Tone-

This year we’ve already seen two additional films enter the X-Men franchise. Last February’s hit Deadpool and May’s X-Men: Apocalypse with two very different tones. Deadpool was a vulgar violent breath of R rated fresh air showing how this film universe can offer something new sixteen years after it’s debut. X-Men: Apocalypse on the other hand was a standard blockbuster in line with all the other X-Men films. Deadpool opened to a $132.4 million debut in February while Apocalypse made $65.8 million over Memorial Day weekend. The worst part, Apocalypse now has the second worse Rotten Tomato rating out of all the X-Men films. I caught Apocalypse last Monday and enjoyed it, but it made me wonder why it got hammered with such bad reviews. My only conclusion is that once Deadpool showed audiences the potential of a fun subversive film they went into Apocalypse with those expectations. Once they saw that Apocalypse took a step back and felt more in line with Days of Future Past audience excitement was deflated.

-Sequels Still Make Money-

To say that people are getting sick of sequels is complete nonsense when you look at how many are making bank. In 2015 alone out of the top ten highest grossing films seven of them were sequels, one was a prequel, one was based off a best selling novel, and one was an original idea. Of the top five films one grossed over $2 billion and four grossed over $1 billion. All of them were franchise films. And of course the biggest hit of the year so far is Captain America: Civil War which has grossed and impressive $1.13 billion. It doesn’t matter whether or not a film is a sequel or an original idea, so long as it tells a good story people will watch.

-A Bad Film is a Bad Film-

This right here is the main point of this article. As the saying goes, “You can’t polish a turd.” No matter what franchise a film is connected to doesn’t guarantee it will be a success. Sure it may make it easier for some films to make money (i.e Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the Star Wars prequels, and all Transformers sequels), but it by no means is foolproof. Robert Rodriguez had sequels to his hit films Sin City and Machete crash and burn at the box office. Why, because they failed to live up to their predecessors in terms of quality storytelling.

Let’s face it, sequels have been made to films for an extremely long time. Fun fact: The first sequel to a feature film (The Fall of a Nation a follow-up to Birth of a Nation) came out in 1916, so happy 100th birthday movie sequels. As usual what are your thoughts? Do you think sequels are getting out of hand considering this year has nearly forty getting released? Or will you watch them so long as they tell a captivating story?